As a mom, I’ve found it’s really hard to just shut my mind off. The constant worry, decisions that have to be made, schedules that need to be followed, tasks that must be completed. It’s the code to Motherhood… Worry. Multitask. Worry. And as moms, we all want out kids to be healthy, happy, nurtured, fulfilled, smart, loving human beings. We also all carry the burden of trying to protect them from the harsh realities of the world and the everyday pressures of their peers. The common thread we moms share right? But as a Black mom, my worries are far different. Because I have the added task of worrying about raising black boys in America, praying everyday that they’re protected and safe and uplifted and supported. I worry constantly if I’m doing enough to instill security, confidence, discernment, inner-beauty and self-love into my daughter as she’s faced each day with difficult decisions to make. I want her to accept and believe that she is beautiful and own her #blackgirlmagic even though the standards of beauty in America don’t have many images of people who look like her. So the comparisons come into play as I try to help her navigate through the pressure to conform.
It’s become my unfortunate duty to make them all aware that no matter how high their GPA is, how handsome or pretty they are, how soft you train them to speak, how polite they are, what school they go to, this society still judges them by the color of their skin, not by the content of their character. I’m CONSTANTLY in their ear about how they present themselves to the world so that other people feel “comfortable” and don’t view them as aggressive but how it’s so very important to always honor their true self. It’s an exhausting way to parent. I never stop talking. lecturing, advising, worrying… but for me, and all the other Black moms, it all stems from fear.
So lately, I’ve been a bit torn with my social media platform. I love to see all the beautiful images of moms on the gram, showcasing their adorable kids, food tips, positive affirmations and cute outfits. Cause it kinda makes me forget about the disparity and the stress I face on a daily with raising Black kids in America…but only for a split second. Cause my reality as a Black mom is maintaining my household AND own sanity, and still managing to incorporate self-care into my day. And doing this all while encouraging and sometimes pushing each of my children to excel in ALL areas of their lives so they don’t perpetuate the racial stereotypes and stigma Black people face. It is an overwhelming, compounding state of existence I must say. Parenting a’int for the weak at heart and it a’int always pretty pictures and creative captions. My heart is heavy for ALL mothers of color who are raising their children in a privileged society. It’s so very heavy and now more than ever, easy to grow weary. We live in a world where we have to pull out report cards and get people to attest that our kids were “good” kids when they get shot or assaulted by the police as if that even matters. Disgraceful. As I deal with my own shit today as a mother of 3, raising teenagers, my heart is heavy for the mother and father of #JordanEdwards
in love + light,
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