When I saw the trailer for the movie, Bad Moms, I just knew me and my girls had to go see it! It was a MUST! And given the fact that I rarely get to the movies as often as I would like, I was exploding with excitement. So on a beautiful, LA Friday night, I gathered my movie dates and we decided to head to Playa Vista’s movie theater (which by the way has a GREAT bar), and proceeded to shut the movie theater down, literally. LOL.
I laughed, I cried a little and I came away with a reinforced awareness that we moms are all in this together. No one is perfect. We all have made some serious mommie mistakes and have probably done some things we are not too proud of or are just plain laughable. But what is so sad and I hope it changes soon, is moms today try so hard to live up to a very unrealistic, unhealthy standard and in turn end up a little koo koo for coco puffs (if ya know what I mean), or overly stressed, or completely overwhelmed, or addicted to prescription medication, or broke or unhappy all while trying to maintain that American Dream. My generation, and even more so I think the Millennials, feel so much pressure to live this perfect life and guilty if they fall short. We must have our kids at the best school, playing several different sports, involved in 10 different activities, be on the PTA, be the team mom, volunteer in the classroom, make our kids feel like they have to get all A’s, drive a certain type of car, all while being Fly and Fabulous. I’m over it. This insanely, chaotic lifestyle has us constantly feeling like we’re not doing enough, like we’re not enough.
Things that make us moms somewhat normal that often times we DON’T share are when you let your child sit at home for days without showering, or you lost your kid at the beach or you let your son play video games all day because you didn’t want to see him upset or you didn’t make your kids brush their teeth at night or you forgot to register your son for the SAT or you cussed at your kids, or you wrote your daughter’s essay, face it, you’re a bad mom… and its ok. Don’t beat yourself up. You know why? Because your failures don’t define you, who you are to your core. And I’m pretty certain that one bad decision or stupid mistake won’t shape who your child is. Their entire childhood filled with normalcy and love and imperfection and acceptance will.
So for me, those bad mom moments are opportunities for me to do better. To be real, raw, and honest with myself in those vulnerable moments. I’d rather be a mom who makes mistakes and confesses those mistakes and learns from them. I’d rather be a mom who raises my child’s spirit rather than molding them into a perfect little person. I’d rather be a mom who owns my truth and shares it with my children so they see I’m human just like them and I make mistakes just like them. A bad mom i.e. A good mom!
What I know for sure is I am not perfect, nor is my parenting style effective 100% of the time. But in the midst of confusion, doubt and fear, I keep going. I may give up for an hour or even a night but I center myself, release the guilt, maybe do some meditation, diffuse some Stress Away, pour a glass of wine then put my big girl panties on, pick my titties up and keep it pushin! I’m a Spiritual Gangster, striving to be the best version of me, every single day. So yes, I’d rather follow my own path and I’d much rather be a bad ass mom, thank you very much!
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