N U M B E R T W O // I always knew I wanted kids and at first we both agreed it would be FOUR! God obviously knew what I could handle physically and emotionally! LOL. My 2nd born was sort of a hiccup because our 1st born was only 6 months when we found out we were expecting again. What a crazy time. When we found out we were having another boy, all I felt was sheer joy. I envisioned our boys playing, sharing toys, being best friends and thought…it doesn’t get much better than this.
For a long time I thought I was a boy mom and then came along our puddin pie 5 years later. Three kids! Whoa! I had gotten into such a groove with Shane and Chase that I can honestly say it was pretty easy with the two boys. Then I found myself having to adapt, reeeeeally adapt. 2 boys, 1 girl. 3 different personalities. It was a little tough.
People always say that middle kids get lost in the shuffle. That they can suffer from the “Middle Child Syndrome”. I learned from someone who is like a mother to me that you can’t love your children the same…because they’re not the same. Its sounds easy but it’s really not. I consciously put my intention in honoring his individuality so that I could make sure his birth order was never a detriment. Especially with having a brother only 17 months older.
But what I have learned from my own experience is that kids just want to know, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that their parents trust and love them, support them, hear them, applaud them, but most importantly that we SEE them for who they ARE not who we WANT them to be. Raising teenagers can sometimes make this difficult! Ha! But as hard as it is, I know I gotta keep things in perspective and come back to center. I know my children MUST grow up feeling validated and accepted so that they grow up with an advantage, knowing they can do great things. Being born #2 doesn’t mean you come in second, it just means you hold your own unique spot in the family line up.
“We want what we consider to be the best for our children, but in seeking to bring this about, we an easily forget the most important issue is their right to be their own person and lead their own life in accord with their own unique spirit.” – Shefali Tsabary
[photography by: Marissa Cousin Photography]